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PeaceOutNword. [25 Apr 2004|09:11pm]
New Journal.

I'm abandoning this one.

Shellular

add me plz.
3 comments|post comment

Innaaaaaaaaa <3333333 [15 Feb 2004|07:26am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Inna is like the best little sister ever!!! She always reminds me to update when I forget too!! We decided my el-jay needed a change!! So here it is!! You like? [I know ♥Ashlee♥ will] So umm... Thursday! After getting in an argument, in Coco's with my mom! I went to Christina's of course. To well, you all know what I do over there. I was there until Saturday ... like night. We went shopping, and driving. The usual shit. Umm came home to shower on Saturday morning .. my room was TRASHED. That is so fucking it. No one is allowed in here when I'm gone. I'm locking my door from now on when I leave. Stupid JEFF, and MATT were in here with their LAME-O p.o.s geeeetars. I was going to lock them in here, and DESTROY when I got home. But dad knew my plan .. and took them out while I was showering. So yeah. RUINED my fun. I was going to smash themmmmmm. Oh fun that would have beeeeen. Oh so this Soco and Yellowcard thing. I'm buying my tickets in 2 weeks. For Christina and I.. Theeeeen. I need to buy Warped tickets, for the Fullerton one. And I only have to buy one ticket, and not be afraid of going alone, cause my dear sister Inna is going. Alright, enough for now... ohhhh. Don't forget everyone. Please come visit KillJoy Media!!! please people. Oh and don't forget about In Ashes We Lie!!!


ps- this is what happens, when i get bored ..

oh photoshop how i love theeCollapse )

24 comments|post comment

yeeah. [12 Feb 2004|05:27am]


On top of all that(family issue one or so entry down), I feel so incredibly distant from Jinni. We used to know every aspect of each others life. And now it's like we have no clue who each other is. I'm sorry this has happened. But I suppose we both just have some more growing up to do. Of course I'm not mad or anything about this, it just flat out sucks.

The record label finally decided the official Used board should go back up. So up it went, and there we all were. Almost one year later .. still being post whores. It was if, all of us suddenly knew it was back. That place was the shit, we had such a cool little message board family. Excuse me did i say litte, i mean HUUUUGE. It's good that it's back. I need that place.

Also, there is this boy. Umm Landon and we've been talking for quite a while. And umm. We're going to meet at the March bonfire. Christina is going with me. Well she's my ride so she must go. But um, yeah. I really .. like really like him. So I hope this shit goes well.

There is a lot of new people, which include Sean, Nicole, Alex, Trent, Brandon ... They all kickass. All from KillJoy Media. Sean is the owner of KJ and Nicole is his girlfriend. And all those people just rock my socks. Sean is like the boy version of me right down to the dark brown hair, and big brown eyes. Him and Nicole are so good to me. We all talk all the time, and we've helped each other through some pretty tough times. You all should come visit KJ. It's a pretty rad place.

Hmmm. So Travis from In Ashes We Lie IM'ed me tonight. And it went like this
Travis: HI
ME: who ..?
Travis: travis in ashes we lie
ME: oh i was wondering why you never signed on anymore!!
ME: but obviosuly, it's cause you got a new screen name. heh
Travis: hi!
ME: heeeey, what's up?
Travis: nada you?
ME: Just sitting here watching some gay thing on Fuse
ME: how's the band stuffs going .. ?
Travis: goooood
ME: kickass ... how's .. school?
Travis: not going
Travis: did you hear our new stuff?
ME: I have your cd! :-)
Travis: oh!
Travis: you likee?
ME: i loooooove. wonderful stuff man.
Travis: awesome!
Travis: are you going to go to our show?
ME: fuck yes
ME: i tried to go to the cd release show. but i had tickets to something corporate .. and i was in san diego. so i had this chick jessica buy me a cd. but i'm definetly going to the next show
Travis: oh awesome!
Travis: yea tell everyoneee
ME: of course, especially since it's in my town.
Travis: oh sweet deal!
ME: definetly.
ME: i'm gonna put the date and what not up on my journal .. if thats cool with you
Travis: of course!!!

So the show is on February 21st, at Lyrics in San Bernardino, the show starts at 8pm, they play at 9pm
6 comments|post comment

fuck [11 Feb 2004|02:01am]
[ mood | awake ]

Wow. My internet died today.
Then this one lady. (my moms friend came)
And I woke up. And now it works.
Odd, don't you think?

Besides that. The OOOOOOOOOOLD school used board.
Is back. Omg. Go now, and post post post.

post comment

FUCK! [10 Feb 2004|12:45am]
[ mood | determined ]

Stay together for the kids --- Fuck that.

I’m sick of my parents fighting, and bickering all the god damned time. It is so fucking irritating. They fight over the stupidest pettiest shit. I’ve lived with them for well 17 years of course, and I’ve come to accept who they each are. Why the fuck can’t they. My mother is and always has been the way she is. She does not like to be told what to do. She hates with a passion staying in this house all day, cleaning, cooking, and doing other wifely duties. She does not like to be controlled. My father hates the fact that she is like that, yet they’re still together and have been for like 25 years.

My whole life has been about me accepting shit. ‘Deal with it, let it go, this is how it’s going to be now’ … I’ve heard that all my life. For what, only to settle for less. I’m sick of settling for less. This may make me sound selfish, and yes. Now I am going to be selfish. In nine months, I will be on my own. Only because my parents have yet to grow up and understand that THEY CREATED ME. I will get no help from them. And of course, I have accepted that.

All my life, I’ve been compared to my sister. I’m assuming because she came first. And how she acted while growing up is the way my parents think I should act. But don’t they understand that I’m not her? I wasn’t the most popular girl in school. I didn’t want to fucking go to some G.A.T.E school, with a whole bunch of smart asses. I strived to be normal growing up, and these people kept making it harder on me. You don’t constantly compare someone better to me if you want me to do better. Because of this, I have no bond with my sister. I feel closer to people I know online than my own flesh and blood sister.

My mom has been gone since last Thursday with my dads car. He’s had to get rides from other people. This morning, this woman comes home and goes directly to my room to hide. As if my dad was going to hit her or something (which he has NEVER done). Of course he’s going to yell, the bitch took his car. She tells me to shut the door. And I say no, because I think she deserves to get yelled at. So what does this do? It brings me into the middle of ---

… My mom coming down from tweaking, and my dad not having any pot …

Yelling and screaming, and my mom acting like an immature teenager, brings me to yell
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, GET A FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY, IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONES LIVES SO MUCH EASIER!!!”

Both of them stopped mid sentence, and looked at me as if I had just killed someone. I’d never felt so relieved in my life, to know that something I said got to them. Mom left, and dad went to work. It’s been more than twelve hours and she still isn’t home. Dad always comes home.


I don’t want to accept shitty things anymore. I want to buy my own stuff. I want to have my own home. I want to finish raising myself. And I don’t care who doesn’t believe me. I will make something of myself and I will get out of this room, and this house, and this god forsaken town.

ps-heres the new jacket i got from chrisCollapse )
4 comments|post comment

[06 Feb 2004|05:08pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

My best friend is having the breakdown of the century.
And won't let me help her.
We're dirt fucking poor again.
The phone will be shut off monday.
Oh well. I guess I could use to lose 5 pounds.
Being there is like no fucking food here.
Even I have to sell my ass on the corner.
I'm going to that Soco/YC show.
The CHSPE is on March 20th.
And I still haven't gotten the fucking text book.
Watch me fail. Then I'm screwed.
I want to go to Christina's.
The end.


EDIT: Christina is now GROUNDED. Now I have nothing.

4 comments|post comment

la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [06 Feb 2004|03:01am]
[ mood | crazy ]

okay. im done.
with the new layout.

express your feelings for it.


pwwwwwwwwwease.

18 comments|post comment

oh my fuck [05 Feb 2004|10:33pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Something Corporate with Yellowcard
Uci Bren Events Center , Irvine, CA
Sun, Mar 21, 2004 07:00 PM



FUCK YES.

2 comments|post comment

do it now. [05 Feb 2004|05:31pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

go visit Christina

post comment

fuck im pathetic [05 Feb 2004|04:19am]
god. how is it. that i get
hit on .. online.
but not in real life ..
P A T H E T I C

hotbod00257: im just askin cause you seem pretty cool and i think it'd be fun to hook up some tyme
audio corporate: umm sure .. maybe. im probably going to the melo bonfire on friday
audio corporate: you should go.
hotbod00257: wheres it at?
audio corporate: cafe ruba ..
audio corporate: like newport beach
hotbod00257: i could prolly make it, but i was thinkin more along the lines of me and you kinda hook up
audio corporate: haha .. like .. hoooook up .. as in like .. ya know ..?
hotbod00257: haha, hook up as in like we get together and see what happens
6 comments|post comment

oh shit [05 Feb 2004|03:09am]
[ mood | listless ]

www.funky-chickens.com
is DOWN. omg. thats like.
the html bible.
what am i going to do without it.
it better come back soon.
or i am screwed.

oh .. and im thinking
maybe . a TBS layout ..?

2 comments|post comment

[04 Feb 2004|06:37pm]
[ mood | content ]

Time for a new layout.

4 comments|post comment

horoscope [31 Jan 2004|08:02pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Social awkwardness doesn't become you, but don't worry. It happens to everyone at some point. Even if your dealings with other people are a little uneasy these days, you won't give up. Find something to do with your hands that doesn't seem like a nervous gesture. Above all, take comfort from knowing that everyone will benefit from this relationship. And as long as you respect each other's differences, the door is still open for personal warmth to come in and make itself at home. Tip generously when services are performed. You want to show how much you appreciate the effort.



SO true.

5 comments|post comment

[29 Jan 2004|03:49am]
"Would you like to have sex with me? No? Ok - rape it is!"






My god. This kid. Is hot. And I want to fuck him.
16 comments|post comment

[29 Jan 2004|01:55am]
[ mood | tired ]

Sorry it's been forever since a real update.
Being NOT home is definetly the place to be right now.
I've just been over at Christina's. Driving around.Collapse )
cept on Friday and Saturday I was at Crystal'sCollapse )
Going to the mall, buying stuff. Having fun.
But all fun times, must rest for a while. I'm back home.
It's okay. I'm fine with it. Just boring again.
Got a lot of cool shit at the swap meet.Collapse )
Went to the mall, got my hair cut. Haircut From HellCollapse )
Smoked a lot. Kind of yep. And now I'm home.
So here is like some random shots of shit from like ... all week.
RANDOM SHITCollapse )

11 comments|post comment

Razorblades [26 Jan 2004|03:55pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Yeah, Yeah
Walking example of you
Wait for the silence
Talking backwards to you
It meant nothing to me

Watching the world fall on you
I'm keeping my eyes closed
Now I can see what this means to you
It meant nothing to me

This wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young, too proud to understand
So this is the end

Perfect timing for you
You'll run 'til your legs break
So here's my reminder of you
It meant nothing to me

This wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young, too proud to understand
So this is the end...GO!

We should've seen this coming
We should've seen this...
YEAH! YEAH!

This wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young, too proud to understand
So this is the end

YEAH! This is the END!


</font>
7 comments|post comment

[25 Jan 2004|06:33pm]
Okay. So I promise to update soon!
4 comments|post comment

woah [22 Jan 2004|09:38pm]
Mike called me CUTE. Haha.
A favor house atlantic says:
that picture is cute by the way


i'm directing the scene that has you and me forever... says:
of who .. where?


A favor house atlantic says:
you
6 comments|post comment

excuse me [22 Jan 2004|09:12pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Don't fucking dedicate My Konstantine to me.
Then tell me you all of the fucking sudden have a
GIRLFRIEND.
Like I give a fuck.
Then try to tell me, you still feel the same way about me.

BULL MOTHERFUCKING SHIT.

amitar Date: 2004-01-21 11:42:29
Well I am sorry, aand you have no reason to feel stupid. This doesn't change how I feel about you, but long distance relationships - don't work for me, I know. I wish I could just make a godamn choice that didn't hurt someone.


I'd like to know when. I had a 'long distance' relationship.
With this person. Fuck that.
Now I feel dumb. God. Life sucks hardcore right now.



Inna. Lets run away!

2 comments|post comment

[22 Jan 2004|12:44pm]
[ mood | sympathetic ]

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE PEOPLE LIKE 'THEM'.
'THEY' WILL ALWAYS BE A 'THEM' TO FIGHT AGAINST.








God I love my best friend. She's fucking amazing.
2 comments|post comment

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